We chose to adopt through the special need program because we felt God's calling. Yes, we researched cleft lip and palate and read about the surgeries required to correct the cleft. No, we were not prepared to see our child turn into a different person. Don't get me wrong, he's still the same sweet boy that I fell in love with- he's just in pain and scared and confused. He is eating and drinking very little, not communicating and withdrawn.
One mistake we've made early on is being overly concerned about him not eating/drinking enough and making it too stressful for him (and all of us). A very dear friend (thank you April) reminded me tonight that Reed has been through so much and does not understand what has happened, or why. Our job is to love him, to keep our cool at all times and to reassure him that he has done nothing wrong and that we did not cause him to be in this pain.
The whole process of adoption is an emotional and traumatizing experience for a child. We must make sure he feels safe and loved and not insecure, angry or confused. Use whatever support network you have. We are fortunate to have friends, family and a church that loves us and offers advice or help when needed. Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it!!
Please don't scroll down if you would rather not see the palate repair. I hope there is someone out there that can learn from what we've experienced so far. I know it's still early and there is a lot of healing left to do but I'm amazed at the difference. Every day I wonder what we did to deserve such a blessing. I am so thankful for our beautiful son, he brings so much joy to our home.
BEFORE:
AFTER: (yes, that's scrambled eggs from a couple of days ago smushed in the packing-- any ideas on how to clean it out??)
Counting my blessings,
Tina
4 comments:
Wow! I know it's a long way from healed but it's amazing how well it looks already. I'm so sorry that Reed has experienced this pain and I know how difficult it must be for you and Tim. But this is God's plan. He hand picked the two of you to be the parents of this precious child. And though the heartaches have been huge, the rewards are so much greater. Reed will get through this and he will know how much his Mommy & Daddy must love him. My heart swells just thinking of all of you and the blessings life has in store for you. We love that little boy with all our heart and are so thankful that God's plan is perfect! I can't imagine any other couple that could love that little boy like you do. Reed is so blessed to be in a home where his happiness and his well being is the primary focus.
I'm here if you need anything my friend. I know it gets tiring answering the phone and answering the same questions over and over so we try not to bug you but please know that you are in our hearts and prayers daily. We can't wait until Reed is all better and we can come play in his new back yard! :)
We Love You,
Joe & Trish
I am glad April was able to make you feel better. Hope today is a better day.
Hang in there! The recovery from Alexander's cleft surgery was SOOOO difficult. There were days when we both just sat in the floor and cried. Alexander would not let us comfort him for around a week. He wasn't sleeping or eating well. It took us around 3 weeks for things to be back to normal. By the way, don't try to clean the palate. That is exactly how Alexander's mouth looked those are wet scabs and not food. Call me anytime if I can help or e-mail me.
Kristy
Wow, that is an awesome healing. Hugs to all of you, and you are in my prayers much more than I let you know.
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